Jealousy

All parts made by Amanda Brezzell

Series: Jealousy and Compersion: A Series For Expanding Your Capacity to Love

Work: Jealousy: For masking your green (pictured).

Collage done on acrylic painted background. Made with photo, metallic, and recycled paper. Cast in Resin on canvas. 16in x 12in

Jealousy and Compersion: A Series For Expanding Your Capacity to Love

Detroit taught me how to Love and be Loved. In my work, I talk a lot about how I allow Love to guide me, but it wasn't until I came back home and built a true Loving community, that I really learned what it means to experience this. These pieces are a snapshot of my experience with Loving and building intimate bonds of varying degrees with friends and romantic interests. These two feelings of Jealousy and Compersion exist for me at the same time sometimes. Some say they are opposites, I like to think of them as mirrors.

Jealousy: For masking your green (pictured).

When first I committed myself to nurturing multiple intimate relationships simultaneously, Jealousy was something I struggled with. I remember the first time I opened a relationship with a partner, we did so because we felt deeply connected and seen by one another. Once we were face to face with Jealousy, however, both mine and her feelings caused us to mask ourselves and hide. Hide our feelings. Hide the burning in our chests. Hide the Love. The split was heartbreaking and preventable. I remember how hard I grieved that Love and the many lessons I learned from that experience have stuck with me. This is what I've captured here. You’ll notice in the center of the chest, an amulet. This amulet represents source and stability and a shield for the heart. Around the amulet and on the body are triangular adornments that point outward and are not spaced evenly. This is a reflection of the outward approval and attention one seeks from others and the disorganization I feel when I seek attention from the wrong sources. For me, lack of attention is what spurs my Jealousy. Feeling ignored and unheard often calls forward green eyes. The mask here covers the entire face and although the face is covered, you can still see the emotion. Every element joined together speaks to looking to outward sources to create stability within one’s self, and the feeling that comes along with that.